Our mini mountain lion, the one and only ChairWoman Meow, has communist ideals that drive her to hunt for prey in the valley below.
🦁 Mountain Lion Kitty ⛰️
My communist kitty heard that people in the USA can identify as any gender they want, and this caused Comrade Meow to begin identifying as a mountain lion. I have told her time and time again that we are a vegan household, and therefore there are no bags of cat food for her to munch on. The thought of eating vegan food beyond seaweed, Pringles, and nutritional yeast is revolting to her, and something that would make most kitties search for a new home with omnivorous hoomans.
I think Meow identifying as a mountain lion has helped her to overcome some of the struggles of kittyhood, as well as giving her the kind of bravery and hunting skills required to live in a vegan home. I now believe a vegan diet is the best for cats because the repulsiveness of it will drive a good kitty to hunt for food, and harnessing natural instincts tends to create a well-behaved kitty. She thrives without a litter box and cat food, and only asks that we keep the window cracked so she can come and go as she pleases.
👊 Sweet Perch Bro 🪜
When I showed her how she can use the footers of our cabin as perches for scouting prey, it immediately became one of her favorite places to spend free time. I found her on this day using her perch to search for a mouse that has been outwitting her until now. Mice who evade Grim Reaper Meow for several days become lazy and complacent, assuming Meow is simply unable to catch the, but little do they know that's exactly what Meow wants them to think.
🪟 Let Me In Yo' 🛃
Honestly there's a chance this is toxoplasmosis, a parasite that causes mice to no longer fear the smell of cats and/or cat urine. Diagnosing toxoplasmosis in Cambodia is already nearly impossible for humans, so I'll never know for sure with Meow, but I would rather assume she is simply too awesome of a predator for any mouse to outsmart her. I let her eat insects and lizards in the house, but I draw the line at mice because things to get messy. In the above photo Meow is upset that I've closed the window and not allowed her to bring a living mouse inside so she can play with it.
🎿 Xtreme Feline Sports 🥊
She usually places the head of the mouse inside her mouth and crunches it, pretty gruesome but instant. With bigger mice and rats like the one she has in the above GIF, she likes to hold them by the butt in her mouth and fling them into the air, then while the mouse is at the apex of it's trajectory, she jumps in the air and with one paw slams the mouse to ground like a basketball, usually ending their lives. She loves to play with the dead corpse too, an absolutely cute psychopath.
When Meow is not alley-ooping and slamdunking mice skulls she's usually doing frontflips and backflips with their corpses. The above photo, although blurry, captures her emotional state quite well. I am just glad she takes this energy out rodents, reptiles and insects, instead of taking it out on our furniture our innocent visitors. She will always be a cure kitty, but when I witness doing parkour with orphaned mouse babies, I am reminded she'd probably eat me if she were larger or I was smaller.
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Return from 🦁 Cambodian Mountain Lion Watches Valley Below For Prey 🦌 to Justin Parke's Web3 Blog
